Kevin stood up and brushed himself off. “Wow, what a ride!” he said out loud to himself. He reached his hands up to the sky, stretched up onto his tiptoes, closed his eyes and let the bright, warm rays of the sun wash all over him. Man, I feel absolutely amazing!
“Wait, oh shit!” he said as the sudden realization of what was actually happening enter his mind. He turned around and started looking for the inevitable.
There, in the distance, he could see it; his physical body laid crumpled on the ground. His arms and legs were broken and twisted in a gruesome manner. Blood poured out of his mouth, eyes, ears and puncture wounds created by the broken bones, and pooled on the ground around his corporal form.
Kevin walked up to his deformed body and stared at it. “Jesus Christ, that’s fucking gross!”
In the past, looking at his dead body would have put his Soul in a state of panic, but this wasn’t his first rodeo; no, in fact, it was his 1,376 rodeo on planet Earth. This time around, he had ridden that bull without any fear for a solid 39 years before getting bucked off.
Kevin said a silent prayer, thanking his body for all the experiences it had given him over the past 39 years. Then he turned around and began looking for The Door.
Just a few yards ahead, he could barely make out The Door in the distance. It was sometimes difficult to see, especially at first, because The Door was invisible. In fact, the only way you could make It out was to look for the brilliant, white light shining through the small cracks of the doorframe, outlining it.
Kevin walked up to The Door and looked down at the welcome mat sitting in front of it; it read: Welcome to the All Knowing! He reached for the doorknob and opened The Door. All Kevin could see through It was a brilliant, white light and nothing else.
“Well, here we go!” he said as he steadied himself before he stepped through The Door. He turned and looked back, “Don’t worry, I’ll be back in a few years,” he said and then walked through The Door.
Once Kevin got to the other side, he closed the door, stood there for a moment and took it all in. Every memory of every existence came rushing back to him in an instant: he had been a male, a female, a father, a mother, a brother, a sister, a warrior, a politician, a monk, an assassin, a poet, a murderer, a hero and so many other “labels” during his various incarnations.
He looked around to get his bearings, Souls were bustling about the busy city, some lost, others knowing where they were going. He looked up at the street sign; he was standing on the corner of 5th and Pearl. Great, I’m only a few blocks away!
Kevin headed south on Pearl and took a right on 4th, halfway down the block he could make out the sign protruding from the building with big, block letters running from the top down: CHURCH. There She is! He quickened his pace in anticipation.
Once he reached the entrance, he flung the doors open! There, sitting in his usual spot at the bar, was his best friend, Jesus Christ.
“What’s up goatfucker!” Kevin said as he walked up to JC with a big, shit-eating grin on his face. JC knew immediately who it was as there was only one person in the Universe who called him ‘goatfucker’.
“John-Motherfucking-Boanerges!” JC said as he stood up and gave John a huge bearhug. “How the hell are you?”